hi everyone,

I hope everyone is doing great. I had an absolutly horrible, day so far. I went to lunch with my dad today and had a turkey club with a garden salad and lemon water which I managed to eat even with the table of three guys staring at me pretty much the whole time. Ok, made it through that, went to go up and pay for lunch and on the walk there pass a table and hear a whistle but not the good kind more like the Damn!! Would you get a load of that thing!! kind. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/sauer/angry-smiley-022.gif Ok so suck it up, pay the bill, say goodbye to dad go about merry way. Next stop, our local drivethough coffee place to order coffee. pull up get order pass window were three teenagers are inside drinking coffee and the only reason I noticed them is because two of them had to turn to look at me at their friends request, when I mouthed the words "what?" they all turned around and started laughing and joking.http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/sauer/angry-smiley-055.gif ok, fine I can take it, bunch of little jerks anyways. Order apple fritter to go along with coffee, ask for more sugar and cream too. Ok so I then went to have my car washed and as I am sitting there waiting for my turn I am just angry about how they can be so rude and feeling really guilty for even going to order coffee and then a donut on top of it all. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/traurig/sad-smiley-014.gif Seriously considering getting a pack of cigarettes even though I quit 8 months ago. http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/sauer/angry-smiley-013.gif Get car washed. Off to walmart for soap and toothpaste and milk. Turn corner to go down dairy isle, notice a third of the way down the isle the three stupid teens from coffee place walking right towards me, one of the little cowards actually turns away from me and starts walking backwards towards me, I roll my eyes and shake my head. More laughter and jokes and mumbling under their breath. Grab milk, along with some chocolate milk and head for the register pay for stuff, fight back tears unsuccessfully, walk to car, drive home. :bawl: Sit in car and cry and literally force myself to go in house so milk doesn't go bad, cancel all afternoon appointments and get on computer to vent. Sorry to be such a downer today you guys, I was hoping it would help to type it out. I am going to go eat now, thanks for listening, I just get to the point sometimes where I get so sick of getting treated this way everytime I go out in public. I am a nice person, I try to help people and smile at everyone and this is how the world treats me. I hate myself for letting me get this way. I wish I could be as strong as the rest of you. :cry:
Dani

Hi Dani...I am so very sorry that you had a rough day. It is a shame that human beings can be that cruel to other human beings. I am actually having a rough time too. I just recently told my husband that I was a closet eater. An overeater. I told him all of my little secrets. I did this because I have a problem. I want a baby so bad but yet, it is so hard to stop overeating. I have done really well that last 10 days and I am trying real hard. I am going to start going to overeaters anonymous meetings. I don't know your history, but I am usually on the inbetween boards and the IVF boards. I am a big girl. I weigh 272 and I have done 3 IVFs and they have all been BFN. I am doing my last IVF in October and I really want to lose weight before I try one last time.
The reason I am telling you this, is because it helps me. The more people I tell of my problem, it helps me. It is so hard. I had a dream the other night that I was eating a big bunch of cinnamon rolls with icing smothering all over. It is rough! But I need to look at the big picture.
So here I am on this board. I haven't even introduced myself to the board yet, but I read your post and wanted to give you a big :hug: . I am so sorry about your day. I hope that you can just not look back, and take tomorrow as a new brighter day. :hug:

thanks Tara

Thanks for your kind words, I am such a bad mood today I don't know what to do. If it makes you feel any better I would love to weigh 272, currently I have to lose about 250 although I should probably try to lose more like 280, I am not thinking this is going to happen anytime soon and I have a meeting with the ob/gyn on the 26th and she is probably going to just tell me to lose weight. Sorry I am starting to rant again. Thank you again for being so nice and I hope you have a good day and it sounds like you have a good plan.
Dani

Dani....You are strong girl!....You just got to dig deep down and pull it out of yourself on days like this. I am also rather fluffy still, despite the fact that I recently lost 67 pounds...I have just gotten to the point where I don't get stared at alot. I am a person who takes pride in my clothes and makeup and jewelry and sometimes people made me feel like "who do you think you are?" Why bother...you are fat. I do bother...because there is NOONE perfect in this world. I have gotten quite a few "you have such a pretty face...if you would only lose some weight."..My response..."Well maybe God should of blessed ME with an ugly face to make you happy?" I feel your pain...I have sooo been there, done that.

The best medicine on days like this is to treat yourself GOOD girl!...Take pride in yourself. I approached my weight loss not to look good..but to honestly try and live longer and be healthier. I had gotten to the point where my knees where becoming very painful...so I didn't really have a choice. We are here for you Dani....please don't leave us!...We LOVE new people. Any advice or suggestions you need....just ask away. Many many :hug: !

Hey Dani

I say sc**w them all. The only people you need to worry about are you and your spouse. I've heard the you have a pretty face crap my whole life. I now tell people that my husband doesn't much care for bone. So, WE DON"T HAVE A PROBLEM with me being fat. I weigh 260, wear what I want, do what I want and eat what I want in public. DH is 6'7" and 280 and very handsome. We make a cute couple. If people have a problem with my fat there are 3 other directions they can turn their heads. I wear shorts and tank tops just like everyone else because I refuse to sweat for anyone (DH thinks I look good in them). Like Goldie, I would like to lose weight for health reasons and maybe that would help with getting pregnant. Other than that I am comfortable with the way I look.

I find the best way to deal with rude people is to be rude back. You know what, they don't seem to care much for it either.

:hug: Be comfortable with yourself and don't give stupid people a second thought.

hey guys!! :hismilie:
Thank you so much for listening, looking back on my little vent there I kinda feel a little foolish but I just get so frustrated. I think the thing that really sets me off is people don't care anymore if they get caught making fun of you or looking at you, like you are just some "thing" at their disposal. I handle it pretty well most of the times but every once in awhile you have a day like that. I do need to lose a little weight just to get my self esteem back up a bit and to be healthy to have a baby and live longer. Also just so I am comfortable in my own skin, I won't ever admitit but sometimes I don't go anywhere because I hate being in public most of the time. I sometimes feel bad for the people I am with to be seen with me, I know I am being silly but thats just how I feel sometimes. I am really happy to have found a great group of people like you guys to help lift me up. Thank you so much and so sorry about the pity party.
Dani

Thanks Kelly :hug:

I feel so much better now thank you. :wiggle: You and your hubby sound so cute together though, I know what you mean though about feeling kinda shy about being in public. I hate being in public with anyone especially DH, I remember one time I had to drive my friends little brother somewhere and he was about 15 I was about 18 and we went past a couple of kids and he actually put his head down and sort of covered his face, he thought he was being slick but I saw. Whatever though little puke LOL. With such great people like you guys I will lose weight and feel great about myself!! :flower: Trully you are all awesome and I am thankful for you. :grouphug:
Dani :kisses:

:hismilie: Oooohhhh people can be sooooo very NASTY!..Last night dh and I went to the healthquest to go swimming and there was this skinny minny with her two little girls (cute girls :) )...and as I was getting into the water she just stared at me...I KNOW what she was thinking right away...now my dh didn't even notice her...and I never mentioned it to him...but it is something us rather FLUFFY girls know...you know.."that look."..That look of.."Ooohhhh NO...not a fat girl...her fat might just leap off of her body and land on mine!"...LOL!...She weighed about 110 soaking wet literally! Just the look she gave me... :shakehead Like a 260 ++ (first hint of my weight ever on FT..just for you Dani..LOL!) woman can not find a swim suit to fit her or something...And I have a VERY nice swimsuit..thank-you very much missy...sleak all black..high front and criss-cross in the back that goes a little low...dh happens to like that part.

The best revenge is to hold your head up high...and look good girl...LOOK REAL GOOD.....not just a little bit good...I mean throw out the OLD clothes...or once you start losing some...don't keep the old too big ones..BUY some new clothes ASAP...Get a new hair style...buy some NEW makeup (Mineral makeup in the bomb girl)....and SHOES...you need really cool shoes..ohhh yeah...and EARRINGS...got to have really cool earrings...Hard to not look good in Sterling tourquoise drop earrings (I got some bootiful ones yesterday in mail from QVC)....I find the more confident you are...the less people are rude. And don't get me wrong...I don't do this for them...I DO IT FOR ME!!!.....Makes you feel reeaaalllll gooooood!...Try it! :hug:

Hey Dani

I hate it when people put other people down. For goodness what gives anyone the right to judge another person based on appearance only ? I had a run in with one of my DH's mates GF and she made a comment about my fat ass my retort "I can lose weight honey what can you do about your ugly face ?"

Remember no one is perfect, everyone has a crack in their bum". Makes me laugh !

Debbie

bugeyes OMG!...Dani...I just seen where you are an esthetician!....Me too!...Me too!.....I graduated in May of 2001....second year after it was even offered in my state. I worked for 3.5 years.....I love it!...I used Dermalogica as my back bar...and retailed Dermalogica and Jane Iredale Mineral Makeup (Just doesn't get any better)....I recently stopped working to pursue the baby making business. I unfortunately worked in a very small space with lots of chemicals (nails)...so I had to move on out. But I had a wonderful 3.5 years..and I still have all of my equipment. I have EVERYTHING you can imagine to set up a room....8-in-1 function machine...hot cabi. So Cool!...So do you currently do facials?

OMG Goldie!!

This is kinda funny but I graduated may 2001 also! That is way to funny. It is a 6 month course here how about for you? I do it out of my home becuase I never had success getting a job although I did have interviews but thats ok because I am going to be a successful salon owner one day LOL. I do do facials, the most popular services I do are pedicures and nails and then waxing after that, I used to do acrylics but just recently learned how to do gels. I am interested in carrying skin care products or even creating my own so if you want to you can email me some information about the products that you were talking about if you think they were good quality, I would love to have something unique to me. Are you going to get back into it after you have kids or are you onto something else? Talk to you later!
Dani

Hey there little fluff (love the name by the way)

That is so funny, I love that saying " I can loose weight but what can you do about your face" That cracks me up, I bet you left her a little speechless huh? LOL
Dani

Thanks kim,
You have such a great attitude about things, I totally know what you mean about "the look" there you are trying to exersise and some little scimpy shrimp looks at you like you are diseased, Good on ya for not drowning her in front of her children LOL. Have a great day!!
Danica

People can be so mean but my experience is that people love to point fingers at others and make fun of them to draw attention away from themselves and their own insecurities. I have had people do that to me to and what I do to survive these rude encounters is look at them and pick out all their sh@#! I can make fun of and then think of the stuff I love about me that they don't have. For example I have thick curly hair that people rave about and wish they have so that is one thing I focus on when stuff like that happens and it will actually bring up my self esteem and then I will look them straight on and make a comment like dork or oh my God right back to them. I know it may not be the most mature way to handle it but it works for me. What I basically am trying to say is that I try to keep my self esteem up and not let them tear it down just because they are insecure about themselves. Also I am very outspoken and have a group of girlfriends that are the same way and will get right into their face. I remember one time being in upstate NY at a bar with a friend and my sister in law and I weighed 185 at the time and there were 3 girls sitting at a table talking so loudly about me and my friend on how we have nerve wearing shorts and one started telling the story how she use to be fat and lost all the fat. Well I just could not believe their rudeness especially now if I weighed 185 I would be ecstatic. Anyway me and my girlfriend just turned to them and ripped into them and made fun of them right back calling them hicks (where my sister in law is from they are like 10 years back on stuff including clothes) and we gave it right back to them to the point that they got up and walked away. I know again not very mature but felt damn good. Just remember you are a great person and no one has the right to put you down and anytime someone stares or says anything feel pity for them because for them to be that way they must really be insecure about themselves and then zone in on something goofy about them and have a good chuckle - lol.

Hi Dani

Glad you like my user name. It is actually the nick name that my hubby calls me - reason being that I have soft curly hair and hubby reckons it is fluffy, and the little part I am only 5 foot nothing !

Take care.
Debbie

Aaaahhhhhhh...Debbie...now that is too sweet. Sounds like your dh might be a keeper!

He is Kim, the keeper of my heart !

Aaaaahhhhh again!......I know what you mean....I am soooo blessed with a wonderful dh too. Sometimes I actually feel a little "uneasy" because he is sooo wonderful I have to KEEP myself from "boasting" about him too much to friends?...but "I could eat him with a spoon."

This whole thread got me to thinking actually about a VERY nasty comment someone made about me "AT MY WEDDING." concerning my dh. My dh is not only wonderful..he happens to be VERY good looking to boot! (he loves fluffy women) After I returned to work...A co-worker of mine told me that "A WOMAN?" made a comment to her "How did Kim get someone like him?"..I mean "he is so slim?"..She did thankfully take up for me and told her "Kimberly is a wonderful person."...She still to this day will not tell me who said it?..I know...Why she really told me I don't know?..But this will ALWAYS be a memory from my wedding!....People can be soooo nasty. :rolleyes: What do you do....Look good...Be good to him...Love him...And make'em weep when you're the one kissing them lips! :) LOL!

Kim

That is so rude that one of your weddig guests would make such a horrible comment. You sound like a wonderful person from the posts that I have read, your DH couldn't not have fallen in love with you ! I like your laast comment !

Oh to love and be loved what a beautiful thing !

Debbie

Thanks Deb! :blush:

Hey guys! I read a quote recently that I just had to post. It was the first time I have ever been able to put into words how I feel.

"Being a fat girl means that everyone sees you; they may not listen, they may not pay attention to anything else you do, but they take note of how much space you take up, space most people feel you don't deserve"
-Dianne Sylvan

That one just struck a chord with me. My husband is thin and good looking as well and I always feel like he deserves better. I'm trying to get better but it's hard. I don't like going out in public too much. Even my mother-in-law is in on it. Every time she comes to town she tries to teach me how to eat. She even made a point of bringing me a diet book all the way from California to try. We won't even start on the cleaning products she buys me! I'm getting to the point where I am realizing that life is to short and if I wait until I am thin to enjoy life I will miss it. To heck with what everyone else thinks! I agree with what the others posted. Wear what makes YOU happy. Do what you need to do to make you happy. To heck with everyone else! They have their own lived they are obviously unhappy about anyways they don't need to make yours miserable too.

Barb

Wow Barb..that quote kinda pinched my heat. But it is VERY true!...unfortunatley in our society that is exactly how we are treated. Ooohhh and I just LOVE to see a fluffy girl with a good looking man!...And my dh just so happens to be one of them...I just love to say "Eat your heart out people!"..and I also feel I must be doing something right...my dh still thinks I'm sexy after 16 years together.

Hey Barb...Have you ever read "The Weigh Down Diet" Book by Gwen Shamblin?..It is what changed my mind about eating. I finally feel FREE after all these years of dieting. I am honestly NOT on a diet...but I have lost 67 pounds in the last 13 months....slow but I know I will never regain...and I contribute my success to this book...Check it out...it will change your life..It should be really cheap on amazon...it is an old book. :)

Goldie - I'll have to check it out. I've been reading and starting to follow the Dr. Andrew Weil books recently. Between that and detoxing I've lost 10 lbs in less than two weeks (probably water but I'll take it!) My husband even likes the changes we are making so that's good. :) I'll see if I can find "The Weigh Down Diet" book at the library. Thanks!

Tuckytex - How are you doing? I have totally had days like you decribed. You come up with some great comebacks after you walk away red face and ashamed. I hate that another person has that much power over me. To tell you the truth they seem to have more power over my feelings than I do at times! Hang in there. We're all here for ya!

Barb

Hey Barb

Thanks for the support, you have all made me feel so much better with your concern. I am doing well, I have started to try and put a lot more healthier things into my body and that is making me feel better already. I still have days where I am having to argue with myself to actually eat little healthy meals but I am getting better. Thanks again to everyone for your encouraging words they mean so much!
:hug: Danica :hug: