:fuming: hi ladies i don't post that often but i need to vent badly. today i went to the doctor because of my cyst they found near my ovaries. they were supposed call me in june but since they didn't i called them. they said i needed to come in to have the doctor exam me because i have another cysts also on my vaginal lips (sorry about the wording) i have had this cyst there for a number of years my doctor said that there was nothing wrong with it as long as it didn't hurt me or get any bigger. well it has been bothering me so i mentioned that to the nurse who then told me that my regular doctor that i have been seeing since 2002 was not available so would i mind seeing another doctor. i said okay they said she was a good doc. i remember her from years ago she was the one who helped me get my pcos under control before she went to another practice. well today i get there and the nurse walks in to take my blood pressure and weight i told her i would be able to weigh on their scale because i was over 350lbs. she said okay i told her i lost about 30lbs since may when i my regular doc sent me to the nutritionist.i told this to the nurse she recorded it. i was sitting on the table and she told me to sit in the chair because i might be uncomfortable sitting on the table because it would be a while before i say the doctor. i said okay about 10minutes later the doctor that i was seeing nurse came in and said that they would not be able to accomodate me TO PUT IT HOW SHE SAID IT I WAS TOO FAT TO LAY ON THEIR TABLE AND THEY COULDN'T RISK A LAW SUIT.i was stunned, mad, angry, ashamed and hurt all at the same time i have never ever ever had this happen to me in all the time i have been going to this doctor i laid on the same tables for almost 3years. she then said that she was calling another facility to see if they would be able to see. if not she didn't know what to tell as you can see she said these tables won't hold you.she then told me that the lady in billing wanted to see about 70 dollars i owed. i kept thinking this lady just insulted me and now they want me to pay a bill. screw that i am not paying them a dime. after talking to the billing lady, the nurse finally comes back and tell me that the other facility couldn't see me either and to go to the EMERGENCY ROOM. the only thing i could do was stare at her and think the emergency room, for a condition my doc was fully aware of. go the the emergency room for my gyn care. this was not a medical emergency i was not dying or deadly sick. i didn't see the point of making a trip to the emergency room for something my doctor told me he would take care of if it became a problem. the other doctor didn't even have the dignity to come in and see me herself. she refused to see me. i walked out while the lady nurse was talking to me. the last words i heard her say was the emergency room would be better equipped to serve you because as you can see we can not. why would i go to the emergency room and spend hundreds of dollars. when i can go to my doctor and he and i can make a plan on what needs to me done. i hate my doctors office i hate the nurse who was so openly rude and cruel that i wasn't even funny at least i thought it wasn't she must of because she had a smile on her face the whole time. i was so upset that i couldn't tell my hubby who was waiting on me what happened until we got in the car. he went back in and the B***CH WAS IN THERE LAUGHING ABOUT IT UNTIL MY HUBBY TOLD HER WHY HE WAS THERE THEN SHE CHANGED HER TUNE. sorry for the long story but i had to get it out and tell somebody i have been crying all day. :bawl: thank you ladies for listening. but to top it all off they had the nerve to call me and tell me i missed my appointment time and i needed to call and reschedule. i don' t think that i can ever go in their office again. i lost a good doctor over this. not to mention my dignity and my pride were wounded. i may be a long time before i see a doctor again. thanks again for listening
sincerely
shayshay06 :cry: :cuss:

I am very sorry to hear about your day. People just do not know how insensitive they can be -- and doctors offices are supposed to be trained in how to handle sensitive issues. I understand your need to never visit that office again but I really think you should call and speak directly to your original doctor and tell him your story. He/ she might be truly unaware of what the staff if doing in the office, I would also need to report it to someone, anyone else ---it is so unjust.

My thoughts are with you!

I am so sorry for your awful experience they deserve a good a**kicking! I agree with deni that you should speak with your original dr. I would also recommend that you file a complaint with the BBB (Better Business Bureau). I hope that you are able to find a good dr. with a staff that will treat you the respect you deserve. Good luck and hold your head up you are worthy of respect!
Christy

Hi Shay :hug:

So sorry for what you went through. There was no need for what they did.
I agree if you really like your Doc I would call him. Let him know how you were treated. I know they should know what is going on in there office. But I think most Docs are oblivious to how some staff treats there patients.

Hope you are feeling better. I had a similar experience with my first RE's office. I kicked them to the curb but fast.

Hi Shay,
I can't believe the people in that office. I read your story in disbelief because I have a hard time believing that people are so cruel...but I know that they are. I agree with the other ladies that you need to let your doctor know. If you are uncomfortable talking directly with the doctor about this, then write him/her a letter. I also think it would be a good idea to sent a copy of that letter to the BBB. Doctor offices should be equipped to deal with all kinds of people. If they were not wheelchair accessible, then they would be sued. I would also look for another doctor.

I have never been so bluntly discriminated because of my size, but I know that it happens around the US and it really should be stopped.

I just can't believe what you went through in that doctor's office. First off what were they using snack tables as exam tables????????? In my OBGYN's office although I am under 300 pounds there are women there that are 350 plus that see my doctor. So they can't weigh you who cares. I would if I were you talk to your original doctor and explain how you were insulted and add in the fact how your husband went in and had to stand there while the nurse who insulted you stood around laughing and telling office staff and send a letter to the BBB and I also think you can make formal complaints to the health board and the state board about her unprofessionalism and her lack of confidentiality telling office staff in ears shot of other potential strangers. Working for a hospital system I know how important confidentiality and patient care are for both facilities and doctors offices and there is such a thing as patient rights which they should have posted in their waiting room and exam rooms. Let me ask you - I thought all doctors had the same kind of tables right? Well how is it that you can see another doctor and be fine but not be fine at this office? Doesn't make any sense and I would not stand around for that. Good luck, feel better, stop crying and just remember that she is a very caddy person and probably miserable in her own life and that's why she gets such joy being miserable to others!!!!!!!!! And by the way you sound like you have a wonderful husband.

:candy: thank you thank you thank you thank you ladies so very much you guys always know how to make a girl feel wonderful. and you are so right dee i do have a very wonderful husband. thank you all again for your support and love
sincerely
shay :grouphug:

:cry: I feel so bad for you. I know you must dread sooo much going back to the doctor. I had a smiliar experience over a year ago with my first RE visit. He told me to eat 700 calories a day and take a appetite suppresant and to return in six months...and THEN we would talk about him helping me. He basicly thought I was waaay to FAT to get pregnant. This was before the weight loss...and to be perfectly honestly..it may have helped fuel the fire in me to "get healthy" because that happened May 11 04..and I started losing June 1, 04. I felt like he stripped me of my dignity.

No-one should have to suffer the shame you did. I would NEVER go back to that office again. I am SURE you could find another GOOD doctor..I DID!!!

It took me months and months before I would go...I personally set a goal that once I lost 50 pounds I would physically FEEL better; as for me the last 50 is what caused my back and knee pain...It was hard for me to exercise too! So on March 8th of this year...I made an appointment with ANOTHER dr..and HIGH-RISK OBGYN. He NEVER mentioned my weight...and althought I had lost 50 pounds...I was still waaaay from be skinny. I actually pulled the weight card with him. He just stressed to keep losing....eat VERY healthy..no sugar for me....and to exercise. This is my first month on clomid.

Please call a high-risk dr. and get this checked out. Not all doctors offices are fat-phobic. I would be more than happy to help you with anything..just ask...I have been there girl....We are here for you. :hug: :hug:

First, i want to say how sorry i am you were treated that way. People are insensitive pigs. And i for one am not afraid to tell them.

Second, i would call your dr and talk to him about what happened. I'd also write up a formal complaint to the office and to the Medical Boards for your state.

I weigh 361lbs (down from 384) and see my dr no problem. At two of the locations they cannot weigh me. At the other they can as they have a digital that goes to 450lbs. I receive my normal gyn exams, IF treatments etc on a regular table and anyone that says that it is a risk is FOS. That office is obviously lacking, both in equipment and staff. I'd be sure to mention that, by name if you can remember the nurse's name.

My dr has never mentioned my weight, he has said to eat as healthy as possible and keep doing what im doing. I have had many drs over the years with this TTC journey and not ONE of them have ever said 'hey lose weight and come back and we'll see if i will treat you'. The drs who say that are fat phobic and should be brought up on malpractice. They certainly treat people who are drug addicts and live dangerous lifestyles. Do NOT let people with this biassed stop you from ttc and certainly NOT for general health reasons. I have a beautiful four year old little girl who makes every day worth living. I was 340lbs when i got pregnant with her. I had no major complications and she was born healthy and beautiful.

I've also had several surgeries etc. No one ever mentioned anything about not being able to 'accomodate' me...thats a load of bs. I'd find a dr who will treat you with respect you deserve, but i wouldnt go quietly. If it was me, but then im spiteful like that, id see if someone at the local newspaper wanted to talk to me about my experience :)

:hug:

I am so so sorry for the way your doctor treated you :hug:
There is no need for people to be so insensitive!
I had an experience at planned parenthood when I was about 16 and wanted to get on the pill....I didnt know I PCOS at the time and the doctor told me that my cycles were messed up because I was overweight...(at the time was thinner than now!) Anyway...she put me on BCP and made me sign a "contract" that said I would lose 30lbs by the next visit...I left there that day feeling like such a loser because I thought it was my fault and that somehow I had made my body stop working cause I just couldnt stop eating! I cried for about a week....The next visit came around and I was terrified...I hadnt lost any weight and in fact had gained about 5 lbs. I was so scared to go, I actually vomited before I left the house. I was relieved when I got there and had a different doctor. I got my BCP and vowed I was never going there again.

Flash forward about 10 years...the doctor I found when I got here is great! I've been seeing her for a year....Of course she did mention my weight but the only thing she said was that the metformin should help me lose some...She never said that it would be a problem with TTC although she did support me trying to eat healthier to bring down my cholesterol...She said weight loss would be a great side effect! I knoew I needed to lose weight but I was so glad it didnt come up as a hinderence to my care...

I hope you can find a new doctor that treats you the way you should be treated! A full figured BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!

Keep us updated :)

hi ladies still in shock looking for a new doctor as i type
will let you know how the search is going lots of hugs to all of you
shay

Hi Shay...I read your first post in utter disbelief! I cannot belive that professionals in a doctor's office would treat you so cruely! You definitely need to do 3 things:
1. Write your doctor a personal letter explaining exactly what happened. Mark it personal and confidential and do not put your name on the return address, just in case whoever gets the mail sees that it's from you and does not deliver it to the doctor. Also, send a copy of that letter to the hospital where that doctor has privileges. They need to know what kind of staff their doctors have working for them. Belive me this IS effective. My husband works in a hospital and they do not like to give privileges to doctors who have bad reputations in patient relations. It makes the hospital look bad.

2. You need to write a letter to the Better Business Bureau, and file a complaint with them against your doctor's office if he is a BBB member.

3. Write a letter to your local newspaper. I know this situation was very humiliating for you so you don't necessarily need to sign your name to this letter, but definitely write a letter to the editor. Newspapers LOVE smut like this and making people look bad.

If I were you I would demand a formal apology from your doctor's staff. You were mistreated, discriminated against, and humiliated. And I am so sorry that you had to go through that. It was completely unnecessary and just plain WRONG! I hope that you find a doctor soon who has a more professional staff. Hugs and prayers to you!

I'm no lawyer, but if I were you, I'd be racing to one.

ADA
Americans With Disabilities Act
A disability is defined a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more of the major life activities of such individual. (ie being overweight contributing to infertility...having children is a major life activity, as also defined in the act "being regarded as having such an impairment.")

"Subject to the provisions of this title, no qualified individual with a disability shall, by reason of such disability, be excluded from participation in or be denied the benefits of the services, programs, or activities of a public entity, or be subjected to discrimination by any such entity. "
According to what I've read, they list several buildings and services that should be accessible to persons with disabilities. Here is an excert: "(F) a laundromat, dry- cleaner, bank, barber shop, beauty shop, travel service, shoe repair service, funeral parlor, gas station, office of an accountant or lawyer, pharmacy, insurance office, professional office of a health care provider, hospital, or other service establishment; "

"(a) General Rule. No individual shall be discriminated against on the basis of disability in the full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, or accommodations of any place of public accommodation by any person who owns, leases (or leases to), or operates a place of public accommodation."

"(i) Denial of participation. It shall be discriminatory to subject an individual or class of individuals on the basis of a disability or disabilities of such individual or class, directly, or through contractual, licensing, or other arrangements, to a denial of the opportunity of the individual or class to participate in or benefit from the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages, or accommodations of an entity.

(ii) Participation in unequal benefit. It shall be discriminatory to afford an individual or class of individuals, on the basis of a disability or disabilities of such individal or class, directly, or through contractual, licensing, or other arrangements with the opportunity to participate in or benefit from a good, service, facility, privilege, advantage, or accommodation that is not equal to that afforded to other individuals."


In the Americans with disabilities act os 1990, congress noted a few things that I find in common with the outrageous experience you were subjected to.

"(3) discrimination against individuals with disabilities persists in such critical areas as employment, housing, public accommodations, education, transportation, communication, recreation, institutionalization, health services, voting, and access to public services;

(4) unlike individuals who have experienced discrimination on the basis of race, color, sex, national origin, religion, or age, individuals who have experienced discrimination on the basis of disability have often had no legal recourse to redress such discrimination;

(5) individuals with disabilities continually encounter various forms of discrimination, including outright intentional exclusion, the discriminatory effects of architectural, transportation, and communication barriers, overprotective rules and policies, failure to make modifications to existing facilities and practices, exclusionary qualification standards and criteria, segregation, and relegation to lesser services, programs, activities, benefits, jobs, or other opportunities;"

I don't know Shay, I would seriously consider contacting a lawyer. You weren't just humiliated; you were a victim of a law being broken!

Here is the link where I got this information. I'm sure you could find more. This is the only link I went to from Google. Alot of times, lawyers love to jump on cases like this because of the big bucks from doctors etc. Heck, you could help get obesity as a legitimate disability and recognized as more than a lack of will power!

*Hugs* Turn those tears into fuel for this fight!
Rebecca

Shay--
I think all the ladies have great idea in making the complaints and sending in letters. I find it appalling that anyone would be treated in this manor. My first thought was..I would have so went to jail so slapping that woman as hard as I could. Words are more painful that anyone ever can imagine at times. I hope you find a great DR that has a good staff. :hug: :hug:

Please do not let this go. Please don't jsut complain in your letters. I firmly believe that you must do the following:

1. Write to your doctor and request that he not refer any more patients to this doctor.

2. Write to this doctor and demand that she fire the offending nurse.

3. Write to the Better Business Bureau and demand that a formal complaint be filed against the doctor who refused to see you.

4. Contact the agency that licenses doctors in your state and demand that formal compaint be lodged against this doctor. Also press to have a formal complaint engraved on the license of the offending nurse.

5. Contact your local newspapers and television stations. It's the slowest news season. This might make the front page, as it should! If your local papers are really small, you might even consider taking out an ad to tell your story if the paper isn't interested. Sometimes local papers are cheap to advertise. Just make sure you do not give opinion - just camly state what happened.

6. Consider hiring a lawyer to sue this office, but don't put out money up front - if no one will take it on contingency, it might be more trouble than it is worth. It might also put some teeth into your demand that htis woman be fired. I would suggest that she be told exactly why she is being fired, so that she hopefully learns not to behave this way again.

Please don't let this (as you accurately put it) B***H get away with this.

I wouldnt drop it either. I would contact the medical board and a lawyer. Its discrimination.

What an insanely cruel world.

thank you again ladies i got a formal apology for the nurse and my doctor who vowed it would not happen again they also took care of my previous bill that i owed from another time. they offered to see me but i declined to be seen in their office.i also made a complaint to the bbb and the state medical board i also wrote a letter to the clinics supervisor and that is what prompted the apologies. sorry for not up dating you all sooner but thank you all for your support and understanding
shayshay

:D Yay Yay !!!!...Way to go Girl!!...Now that's the way to take care bidness!..Took care of the overdue bill..that is the least they could do, right?

Woohoo! Another FT woman gettin the job done! I think anyone in a medical office should just give us what we want cause we're gonna get it one way or the other! Thank you for speaking up! It means a lot to all us fluffy ladies out there. :clap:

Barb

I don't know WHY I was lurking over here.....:shrug: I was just kind of browsing all around.....and I came upon your post.

I'm shocked beyond belief. But I feel compelled to respond!

I don't know what kind of paperwork you signed in your doctor's office, but when I went in to see my doc, I signed a CONFIDENTIALITY agreement under HIPPA. That means that the medical staff is not to discuss ME within earshot of ANYONE outside the docs office.

So if your DH overheard that nurse talking AND laughing about you to the others.......you are eligible to file a claim against that office and that nurse. I believe the fine for that is somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000 (for the doctor's office that is). I'm so pissed I can hardly type!! :beyes:

Go to www.hippa.org (http://www.hippa.org/)

Sounds like you have a claim.

I would skip the BBB. They can't do much for you....

OK, seee??? I was so mad after reading your original post that I didn't read your update...:blush:

Sorry. I'm glad that you got an apology at least. That nurse should have also gotten a formal written reprimand in her file.

:D

Thanks Baked2perfection I Will Look Into That I Have Just Been Trying To Put This Whole Thing Behind Me I Found A New Doctor But I Have'nt Been Able To Go See Her. Her Office Is In Cincinnati And I Am In Dayton. But She Deals Directly With Women With Pcos And Overweight Women. I Am Getting Insurance In 3 Months Through My Husbands Job. I Will Continue To Try Losing Weight And Hopefully She Can Help Me. Thank You All Again For Everything.
Shayshay